Selflessness

Anyone who is or has been married can attest to the fact that there is no such thing as the perfect marriage. Although it is impossible to have a perfect marriage, I think we should all strive to craft a masterpiece over time. 

In Philippians 2:3-4, the Apostle Paul says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vein conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Paul addresses one of the most important pillars of marriage -- selflessness. I recently heard a wonderful sermon that addresses the different components of selflessness as it pertains to marriage:

Maturity: to address your marriage with maturity, you should ask yourself the following questions:

  1. How can I be more patient?
  2. How can I respond more gently?
  3. How can I be more transparent and vulnerable?
  4. Magnanimity – to address your marriage with magnanimity, which is rooted in generosity, you should ask yourself the following questions:
  5. How can I be more sensitive to my spouse’s needs?
  6. How can I gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts and feelings?
  7. Just like it is more fulfilling to study a subject that you love, are you studying your spouse’s needs in the same manner?

Malleability – to address your marriage with malleability, you should ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Are we both subjecting ourselves to the other’s needs?
  2. Are we sacrificing our own needs for the other’s?
  3. Are we using our marriage to mold and grow each other as individuals?

Although there will never be a perfect marriage or relationship, focusing on selflessness will help strengthen the foundation. I hope the words of Paul will bless your marriage as you work to create a masterpiece. 


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